Resurrection

This afternoon, on reading St. Matthew's account of the Resurrection, I noticed two general trends. Matthew 28:8 says that the women at the tomb were "fearful yet overjoyed" to see that Christ had risen. A few verses later, in Matthew 28:17, when Christ appeared to the apostles, their reaction was quite different: "they worshiped, but they doubted."

As I said yesterday, Holy Thursday did a number on all who were involved with the Passion. The women were filled with hope and anticipation...maybe, just maybe, their Lord would push aside the boulder and walk out of the tomb unscathed. When they saw Jesus, they were filled with fear, and yet they had joy. This was the type of holy fear that true faith inspires, which can also be seen in their abundant joy. It is a sense of awe at the mystery. They who had been keeping vigil, no doubt praying in their heart of hearts that their Lord would return to them, saw Him again and it was enough to overwhelm them.

The apostles had been filled with doubt, perhaps despair, and they may have felt as if three years of their lives had been wasted. Certainly, they must have had some hope that Jesus would return somehow, or at least that what He started would go on, but there had to have been an abysmal feeling of, "what will we do now?" Our Lord returns to give them that answer, and they worship Him, but they doubt. Their faith, after all this, is still not perfect. It will not be perfect until they put that faith into practice and see God work wonders through them. That is the nature of faith; it is not just believing. We can give intellectual assent to the faith all we like, but until we step out and live as Christ lives in us, we do not have faith.

I was struck by this distinction because I feel that I too often fall into the second category. I do not allow myself to be overwhelmed or awed, and perhaps that is because I miss the fervency and tradition I once encountered when I lived in the Diocese of Lincoln. Knowing Christ, being filled with holy fear, awe, and joy, gives us the strength to worship without doubt, to walk on water with our eyes fixed on Jesus. If only more parishes were willing to inspire that awe through traditional prayer and liturgy, orthodox preaching, and parish groups that sought holiness instead of mere community.

Well, I'm considering what to do about it in my parish and in the whole Church. Anyone have any ideas for me? I'm looking for ways that I, and we together, can build up a culture of faith in our Church through traditional prayer, devotion, and Catholic living. How can we approach Christ with awe this Easter Season, and cast off the tired everyday drudgery we carry around with us, the wilting faith we so often live through, the ruts we allow ourselves to get into because we don't mind sitting a stagnant faith.

Give me ideas. Help me form a way of life, a way of dynamic, Christian living to rejuvenate our spirituality.

His Servant and Yours,

Micah